Transformer- Part one
The year is 2008, the planet is earth. It is being devoured. Humans are eating more food than ever before- putting a massive strain on the environment. So damaged by the effect of humans the planets climate is changing, temperatures are increasing and water levels are rising. Food prices soar as the world struggles to keep up with the appetite of western countries. Meanwhile millions die in third world countries from starvation. In contrast obesity rates in western countries rise, along with the rate of heart disease and depression. The only thing falling is the birth rate- too many obese people are having trouble finding their genitals.
Arising from this chaos is the Transformers. These people are not genetically gifted, more often than not they are genetically ungifted. But they have one thing the rest of the population lacks. The mental strength to transform their bodies, to lose fat, decrease their chance of heart disease and ward of depression. Are you ready to become a Transformer. If so your training begins here.
Ok that was a bit melodramatic/lame. But the concept is true. The population of the western world is getting very fat and the population of the third world is getting very thin. Many people in western countries desperately need a physique transformation. The risk of heart attack and virginity is just too great.
Why this program is different…
Many beginner fitness programs focus on doing lots of work, getting expensive gym memberships and spending hours doing boring cardio. This program is different because;
a) It focuses on value for time, using intervals and short rest periods to keep workout times down between 30 mins and an hour
b) Although you do some cardio that takes over an hour I guarantee it wont be boring, in fact if done with the right mindset no element of this program should be boring
Transformer Part 1: Learning, adopting habits and effort
Learning
My philosophy about the world is an adaptation of Knowledge is power.
Applying knowledge effectively is power
You spend 100% of your life with your body so shouldn’t you take the time to learn about it. You know do a course on nutrition and biology, spend hours reading through dull testbooks about how the body works. Yeah probably not. So instead I’ve condensed some basic knowledge that you must know to be successful in your physique goals.
Body Basics
Diet
- Food is made up of three central nutrients; protein, carbohydrates and fat
- 1g Protein and carbs= 4 calories
- 1g Fat= 9 calories
- Protein: essential for the muscle building and general survival of the body. Also used for energy. Good sources: milk, beans, nuts, lean meats, eggs.
- Carbohydrates: provides the body with energy. Low GI carbs provide energy for a long time. Although this is the most efficient source of energy the downside is that if it isn’t used it turns into fat. Good sources: green vegetables. Okay sources: other vegetables, fruits, brown rice, pasta, potatoes
- Fat: some fats are essential for the body so cutting fat out of a diet is a bad idea. Although fat doesn’t make you fat it is very energy dense (more calories per gram than other nutrients) so it stored quickly as fat. Good sources: fish
- Water: drink lots, drink it ice cold. There are no bad effects here just remember to sip it regularly not gulp it down.
Cardio
- Check out The three secrets of Cardio for more information
- Going hard and then easy for minute intervals is up to 50% more effective than keeping the same pace for that time.
- Cardio is physically easy(ish), mentally hard: make it fun or make it competitive
- Walking is the best exercise for general wellbeing and health, but not for fat loss
Sprinting gets you big, lean and strong
Weightlifting
- Training for strength provides better all round effects than training for size or tone
- Weightlifting can burn fat but generally the focus is on building muscle, which increases metabolism and burns fat anyway
Okay I have scratched the surface of knowledge about your body, plenty more information available on the internet and in this article. Now its time to start that Transformation.
Month 1 program
The easiest way to achieve anything is by setting small, easily achievable goals. So for the next four weeks you will have mini- goals to achieve.
These goals will be;
Diet: Something positive to clean up your diet. Remember diet is 90% of a training program
Mindset: The correct mindset is important for life and this program. Remember, without the right mindset you will never get anywhere.
Strength: Little step by step goals that could see you're strength double in three months
Cardio: Goals for help staying motivated and burning fat.
Week 1
In week one we are starting our fitness program. This is a week where you will feel the first gains. By the end of this week you should have more energy and feel better than you have for years.
Diet
- Go and buy lots of green vegetables and nuts. Incorporate these physique transformers into your diet
- Buy some fish oil pills and start having a couple a day
- Take what you eat in a day and try and spread it out over 6 meals. Eat every 2-3 hours
Mindset
- This is very important for the first three weeks, they will be the hardest and without the right mindset you will probably fail
- Every time you exercise have a goal in mind, six pack abs, escaping heart disease. Picture this goal and keep it in your mind
- Focus: When you are exercising hard that’s all you are doing. You aren’t checking out the guy/girl next to you, you aren’t thinking about your job. Let the worries go and focus on working hard and fast and getting out of their
- Think when you eat: Realise when you are getting full and stop. Eat smaller serving and if you are still hungry have another small serving. You don’t need to clear you're plate.
Strength
NB: if you have trouble with my descriptions of any exercises just google them. There is plenty of video, pictorial and written information on how to do any exercise imaginable on the internet.
Program 1
What you need
- A bit of floor space
- The instructions for the yoga ( see below)
- stopwatch
0-10 minutes Stretch your arms and legs. Stretch how you naturally would but chuck a few of these in.
Chest stretch: Find a pole, grab it with your arm bent at 90 degrees and push your chest away from that arm. Do both sides
Back posture: slowly raise arms up together until shoulders are locked back and palms face the sky. Let arms drop straight down to sides. Do this a few times.
Windmill arms a bit to warm up shoulders.
After this do 5 rounds of the Sun Salute (www.yogasite.com/sunsalute.htm)
10-20 minutes
Do 7 pushups properly ( i.e. have arms shoulder width or wider, chest above arms, gut sucked in (try to touch spine), lower slowly until chest brushes ground, explode upwards without losing form.
Without resting roll over and do 10 crunches ( lie on back with knees up, arms on chest and push chest straight up until middle of back leaves ground, lower slowly down)
Repeat the pushups and crunches with as little rest as possible for 10 minutes. Note how many rounds you did, try and beat it every time you do this program.
20-25 minutes
Go into push up position and go halfway down ( elbows at 90 degree bend) hold this for as long as possible ( try for twenty seconds)
Without rest stand up and squat until knees are at 90 degree bend ( legs slightly wider than shoulder width, back straight, abs sucked in to spine, look down and don’t let knees go in front of feet, put butt back until knees at 90 degrees). Try and hold this position for 20-30 seconds.
Do at least two rounds of this.
25-30 minutes Stretch down until you feel comfortable then go have a shower
Do this program twice a day, once in the morning and once at night. Do it every day except for Sunday.
Total workout time: 60 minutes a day
Cardio
- At this stage this is the most important type of exercise for you to do
- Start off doing intervals 30 seconds of hard work and 60 seconds or moderate work. Do this for 20 minutes 5 days
- Good exercise combo’s: kettlebell swings ( grab a kettlebell, crouch down and explode upwards with a straight back, bringing your arms straight out in front of your body) and walking, sprinting on a bike and cruising on a bike, sprinting and walking (stretch well beforehand), swimming(butterfly stroke) and swimming(breast stroke)
- Now for the fun part: every week for the next three months you are going to try a different sport. Some good ones to start on are squash, mountain biking (a personal favourite), any snow sport, motor biking(learn skills right and you greatly reduce risk), cycling, beach volleyball, rock climbing
- The list goes on and there is bound to be something out there that you will enjoy; if you haven’t read The Three secrets of Cardio read it now to discover how having a sport you love is the key to visible abs and phenomenal strength.
- Try a sport on the weekends, spend a few hours doing it and remember to rate how much you enjoyed it at the end.
Week 2
This is a week where you might start to see some gains. Reality check: Its probably not real muscle and more likely to be because of your muscles water storing ability. One, the muscles are going to be a bit harder because of more use and Two, when the muscles get tired they draw all that extra water you have been drinking into the muscle. Still you are going to be feeling great, if a little tired.
Diet
- Pump up you protein intake a bit: go out and buy some protein powder from a reputable brand. Three things you are looking for; high protein, low price and low sugar content. Some people have them with water but unless you love the taste have it with milk
- Have a shake after your workout and cardio; if you are bored of the taste experiment. Banana, blueberries and other fruits make a nice change. Spinach is surprisingly okay as well.
- Try and eat natural foods. If its in any sort of packaging, chances are its not natural
Mindset
- You are probably getting a bit tired, sleeping is the best remedy for this, plus it improves everything else about your body. Aim for 8-10 hours a night.
- Start getting used to the habit of exercising, consciously look forward to it, get it done efficiently and get out of there.
- The workouts you will be doing this week are a fair bit harder than last week, be prepared for that and work through the pain
Strength
NB: Reps= the amount of times you do a movement
Sets= the amount of iterations of the reps you do
I represent this as (rep range) x (set range)
i.e Push up 7-8 x 5 means to do 7 or 8 pushups, rest and repeat 5 times
Tempo= time taken for movement eg: for a push up 4:1:2 means to count to 4 on the way down, pause for a second and come up in 2 seconds. Different tempos achieve different results so its important to follow a tempo if one is set
Rest= I believe rest should be kept to the absolute minimum, basically until you have recovered enough for another set.
If an exercise has a letter in front of it do all the exercises with that letter before resting and repeat for times specified
Program 2
What you need
- 2 kettlebells of an appropriate weight ( around 12 kg is good)
- A chair
- A stopwatch
Warm up
5 minutes stretching
5 sun salutations
Workout
A1)Half push up hold 2:20-30:1
A2)Push ups 10 x 1
Repeat 3 times, resting after pushups
Kettlebell Swings 7-9 x 3 1:1:1
(grab a kettlebell, crouch down and explode upwards with a straight back, bringing your arms straight out in front of your body)
Kettlebell swings are hard
Kettlebell concentration curls 5 x 3 6:1:6
(grab one or two kettlebells, sit down on chair with working arms elbow on your knee, slowly curl up until you have to use hand to finish motion, let kettlebell down slowly, repeat for other arm
Kettlebell reverse grip snatch 6 x 2 1:1:4
(grab two kettlebells, crouch down, back straight, palms facing outwards, explode upwards, curl arms until kettlebells’ touch chest, slowly let down)
Leg raises 10 x 2 2:9-10:2
(lie on back, hands not under butt, lift legs to 45 degrees and hold for 10 seconds)
Kettlebell crunches 8-12 x 3 2:1:2
(like a crunch but with a kettlebell on your chest)
5 minutes stretching
Total time= 45-60 minutes
Do routine every second day
Cardio
- Intervals: 60 seconds hard, 80 moderate
- Try another sport this week
Week 3
This is a crucial week. Many trainers fail here, don’t be one of them. It’s the hardest week because your body is crossing that line between hating exercise and liking it. Trust me, after this week it gets better.
Diet
- Try to eat most of your carbohydrates in the morning, they have all day to burn off
- Get into the habit of a small dinner and a big breakfast, it’s the way we are meant to eat
- This week we are going to introduce a weigh in day, its on Sunday and there’s a few rules. Weight yourself as soon as you get up, after you piss but before you drink. After the weigh in take a few photos as well
- Water: we’re going to mix it up a little this week. First up drink even more water ice cold this week, you should be drinking pretty every five minutes. Do this until Friday. Then on Saturday drink even more water until about lunch time. Don’t drink again until you have done your weigh in and taken your pictures
Mindset
- Focus on the goal, transforming your body
- Stay strong, don’t have doubts and don’t miss a workout
- Remember “The greatest tragedy in life is for a man to go through it without bracing himself for one ultimate effort” Words to live, and train, by.
Strength
Same as last week but do routine every day
Cardio
- Use a different type of exercise for intervals, just to mix it up and see if you like it
- Again pick a new sport but aim for one that’s very different, i.e archery or ice hockey
Week 4
If you’ve got to week 4 congratulations. You are past the hardest week and are well on your way to a physique transformation. To reward you this week is going to be a little different to normal. This is to demonstrate to you the sort of things you can do with exercise, how mixing it up makes it fun.
Diet
- Have a protein shake for dinner every second night
- Try going for a week with your only drinks being water, milk and green tea, you never know you might like it.
Mindset
- Keep building on those habits- you are past the third week so this should be much easier
- This weeks going to be a bit epic- some of the exercises you do will be weird and some will be hard, feel proud when you have achieved them
- Get excited about starting Part 2- that’s where the real fun begins
Strength
- The sort of training we are doing this week is going to be interesting, every day is different. Try and get a day of rest between activities, you will need it. Do each program once during this week.
Program 1: The leg program from hell
What you need
- Some room
- 2 kettlebells
- A skipping rope
- 2 sandbags, big bags of salt, whatever as long as it’s a bag that’s heavy
- Your bin
- stopwatch
Out of all the body parts legs can safely take a pounding like no other muscle. Make sure you are near a chair or bed towards the end of this program. You will need it. Caution: if you have weak knees take it carefully when doing the jumping movements.
Warm up
Stretch your legs well
Half squat holds to failure 1 x 6 2:failure: get up
Jumping squats 10 x 3 1:1:fast
(crouch down, explode upwards focussing on thrusting hips forward, be careful to bend knees when landing)
Kettlebell deadlift 15 x 2 2:1:2
(crouch down back straight, grab kettlebells, chest up, thrust hips forward)
Jumping squats 10 x 3 1:1:fast
Sandbag squats 3 x 5 3:1:2
(cradle a sandbag and squat with it, make sure back is straight)
Sandbag throws 5 x 5 2:1:explosive
(crouch down and explode upwards ( back straight, abs sucked in), throwing sandbag up and a little forward, step back, try and beat your throw every time)
Overhead kettlebell squats 5 x 3
(hold 2 kettlebells over your head, squat down paying attention to straight back)
Bin pulls 1 x 10
(find an inclined slope, fill your bin with 2 sandbags, run as fast as you can up the incline dragging the bin, try to beat your time every time)
Jumping squats 10 x failure 1:1:fast
Remember to stretch afterwards, get down a protein shake and rest
Program 2: Beating the fuel price rises
What you’ll need
- a friend
- a stopwatch
- some effort
- a car
In this program we save you money and help the environment. That’s right, today you and a gullible friend will push a car. For an hour.
This program is best done on a Sunday in a large flat shopping centre car park, the back corners that are always empty. If you can’t find a good place just ring up a driving school and ask where they take absolute beginners. Put plenty of water bottle in the car, stretch well and get pushing.
You can do this two ways, 100 metre sprints or continuos pushing. I recommend the 100 metre sprints, more time efficient and you get a break.
And you thought this workout was hard
A few tips
- Pushing a car is surprisingly easy. After you get used to it you can probably give your friend a break and do the bushing yourself
- Try different positions for pushing but remember to keep the pressure off your back and on your legs
Most of all have fun, set challenges with the stopwatch and work as hard as you can.
Program 3: Going bush
What you’ll need
- Strong gloves
- Protective clothing
- A chainsaw
- A shovel
This program is all about getting back to your roots, the sort of training that all those Neanderthal cavemen and cavewomen probably did. Or not.
He's just finished the Going Bush workout, may have dropped a log or two on his head on the way
Anyways this program is damn fun, I guarantee you will enjoy it.
1) Get out somewhere secluded in the bush, think a few hours out of town, the kinda place where the dig up bodies.
2) Park your car, wave to the seedy guy in the white van, and walk into the bush with your chainsaw and shovel. If you forgot them just ask him- he probably has both along with some knives and handcuffs
3) Find a decent sized log on the ground- don’t go cutting down live trees
4) Cut a fairly long length of the log- something you could just lift
5) Cut a smaller length- something you could curl
6) Cut a medium length piece- something you could lift
7) Find a tree with a horizontal branch that can take your weight- around head height
Make your logs a bit shorter than this one- not that you couldn't lift that easy
Now you are ready
5 minutes of stretches
Big log squats 2-3 x 5
(be careful with the log, don’t drop it, keep back straight)
Medium log throws 6 x 2
( try and throw the log as far as possible from a crouched position)
Branch roll over 5 x 3
(find that head height branch, grab it and pull yourself over it, be careful with odd positions, let the muscles do the work)
Big log flips 3 x 3
(crouch and grab the big log at one end, explode upwards and try to flip it over, step back just in case)
Log runs 1 x 7
(grab the medium log, run up an incline slope as fast as possible, turn around, crouch and throw as far down as you can)
Animal chases 1 x 1
(find an animal that’s small and fast, chase it Rocky style, NB: In Australian this is hard as half the things in the bush will kill me if I chase them, including a kangaroo. Pick the animal carefully, obviously chasing a snake isn’t a good idea and for you South Africans stay away from those lions)
Not the best animal to chase
After you have done all that get your shovel and dig a hole big enough to bury all three logs. Digging is an amazing muscle builder and I guarantee it will test you
Wrapping up
If you have come this far congratulations. You are a third of the way to another body. Part 2 will be out a month after this is published on my blog so don’t worry about having nothing to do.
Important
Yes the introduction was melodramatic but one thing about it was true. Food prices are skyrocketing and the third world is starving. The traditional way to help this cause is by donating to charities. Unfortunately most charities lose 30% of your donation to unavoidable administrative fees. An exception is Kiva (www.kiva.org/app.php). Kiva is a unique charity in that it sponsors African entrepreneurs. For as little as 25 dollars you can give an entrepreneur enough capital to start a business that can feed his family. Even better, you get your money back so you can re donate it. This is a great charity that offers absolute value for money. Go to Kiva today and for as little as 25 dollars you can have a bigger impact than any training will ever have.
